pain
by nuu
Wednesday February 21, 2024 11:06
titsay on twitter
i am in pain. i have been in pain. i even took 2 extra strength pain killers because i felt it coming but it still hurts so much i'm lightheaded.
i was honest to my mom for the first time about how bad my pain and fatigue has been. i don't know why i'm so protective of it. i don't know if it's shame or embarassment or fear of judgment or like i'm trying to shield other people from it or. maybe i've given up. part of it is definitely that i hate advice but my mom just said i know myself and what i need best. like she stopped herself when she started talking about exercise. my partner is trying to get me to go to the doctor and i'm going to talk with my mom again because she said she wants to make sure my quality of life is ok. i should have opened up sooner. but. i dunno. even with the positive interaction it's still hard.
maybe there is some resignation there. i don't trust doctors. i don't trust that they'll take sufficient covid precautions. i don't trust that they'll take me seriously.
ok. wow. it's getting to be so much i can't even think. i'm sweating. haha. i'll leave things here. i'm going to watch the mario movie for the first time from bed. i was hoping to be able to go outside in the sun today but. just bed today. sad.