nuu

no pronouns/they

picrew by makowka / picrew "これはうちの子の鞄の中身"

host
25
"nuu" means mouse or rat in lao lol
queer


loves


likes
dislikes

if i was a pokemon, i'd be the timid type, cyndaquil! (and i often was in replays of mystery dungeon. my partner pokemon was usually bulbasaur)


blog posts

the knot - may 8, 2024 02:31 I am losing my mind. I think there is merit to it though, in going mad... I am trying to get myself to feel that though, to really believe it. Because I need to let go. I think I am seeing too much. I understand a little bit maybe why people would not want to know what's going on in the world... Would not want to hear about genocide and their complicity in mass disability and death... Would not want to unravel the truth in anything Because then you soon find ... more

the light - march 31, 2024 21:56 i'm out of practice of keeping up with the blog, but i need it. i feel like i should take journaling to a journal, but... whatever. i'm already here lol. i've started getting optimistic again. I don't have as much energy, but i think i'm in the state of mind to start building it. i had a lovely time with my partner yesterday, felt very connected, but also very outgoing. i was talking to them about things we want to do in the upcoming year so we could ... more

it's my birthday and i'm thinking about dying - march 1, 2024 20:16 tw severe pain, medical gaslighting, pain minimization, suicidality, thinking about death it's my birthday today. i'm 25 now. i was determined to make it an actual good birthday. i was having trouble planning because i don't really know anyone who masks and takes precautions so i wouldn't be able to have food like i like with people. so i was thinking maybe just my roommates and my partner. but i've been so wiped out just from pain this week. it's been level 8 or 9 pain... more

pain - february 21, 2024 11:06 i am in pain. i have been in pain. i even took 2 extra strength pain killers because i felt it coming but it still hurts so much i'm lightheaded. i was honest to my mom for the first time about how bad my pain and fatigue has been. i don't know why i'm so protective of it. i don't know if it's shame or embarassment or fear of judgment or like i'm trying to shield other people from it or. maybe i've given up. part of it is definitely that i hate ... more

home(land + diaspora) - february 17, 2024 03:10 TW diaspora experience, genocide, covid, bombing, Vietnam War, Operation Barrel Roll in Laos, current Palestine genocide // I don't know if this is true or not, but it feels like the longest I've gone without touching my site so far. I tried to write a blog post a couple days ago as I processed a document that's supposed to equip you with the tools to talk to your loved ones about taking covid precautions, but.. I kind of broke down and spiraled for a bit. I was up until maybe 4pm or ... more

spencer/spider - february 11, 2024 11:35 Hallo. This will be real short today because I'm tired and dysregulated and will try to sleep real soon, but I've been watching a playlist of all the Smosh videos Spencer Agnew is in and I keep thinking about this video where he was introduced with the fact that people used to think his name was Spider because he introduced himself very quietly as a kid 😭 I was also a very quiet kid, and was often nonverbal (I've wondered ... more

Chúc Mừng Năm Mới! - february 10, 2024 01:11 Happy Lunar New Year!! My mom always told me that how you spend LNY is how you spend the rest of the year so I'm trying to think now about how I want to spend the year ahead... I want to have sweet treats. I want to rest. I want to spend time with my partner. I want to make art. I want to work on my websites. I want to read. I want to watch Smosh and Dimension 20 ... more

hunger - february 7, 2024 07:55 I am so hungry. My body is weak. My body is always weak. I can't stand long enough to cook anything. I can't even sit up long enough so that I may try to cook something. All I can do is lay down and cry. and cry and cry. And that's all I can do many days. And I'm tired. I push myself too hard and I don't do much. I pushed myself too hard this week playing Baldur's Gate 3 with my friends and trying to do more art I enjoy and making simple meals. I showered once at some point in the last week, but I stink ... more

magical girls and vampires and game jams - february 5, 2024 03:30 Checking in today!! I'm not even sure who I am today, sometimes I'm not sure until after I finish the blog post. I've been looking at other people's websites and now that I've been working on this website for a week+, I'm better able to understand HTML and CSS, so I think it's time to bump the complexity a little! I really like a scrapbook look, where it looks like paper and things taped on ... more

knock knock, open up (your heart) - february 3, 2024 03:53 It is time to make some art. Like really make some art. I've learned that I don't feel alive, can't enjoy being alive, unless I'm actively making art. So now I have to chase it with everything I can. My partner said something about expressing your pain through your art so you can let go of it, even for a moment. And that reminds me of this post I saved a while ago that I can hopefully find in my screenshots folder that ... more

em ơi - january 31, 2024 08:56 I woke up at 4am today after falling asleep sometime between 12:30am and 1am, and I guess I'm up for the day. I was initially going to talk about things that are stressing me right now, but I shut down for maybe 10 minutes after trying to think about how to word them. So I'll talk about the things I'm excited about instead. The announcement for the finalists for a game jam that A and I joined will be announced tomorrow. I've been nervously ... more

morning / mourning - january 29, 2024 14:01 TW abuse, family death // i feel like an idiot. part of it is starting a public diary lmao. only one person knows who i am though, so i feel relatively safe, but i feel like there's a chance... today is the first day in a couple months i had a full sleep cycle that allowed me to wake up during the day. i've been sleeping through the day and waking up after sunset for a while. part of that is i've been having a ptsd episode ... more

origin story pt 1 - january 26, 2024 21:26 I don't know, I just wanted to write here again. Don't really have much to say. ...Or, I dunno if I'm just holding back. I'm anxious about a gathering with friends. My roommates say if I mask it would be helpful, and then extra layers of protection would be to bring my air purifier, which is scary because it's big and clunky and very noticeable, and to offer them masks. My roommate will even give me the KN95s to offer them ... more

still here (broken parts club) - january 26, 2024 06:11 I don't know if anyone's paying attention here, but we're okay. We went for a drive, like we usually do when things are too much to handle. We drove for 3 hours through a bunch of the neighboring towns and almost got stranded an hour away because we were almost out of gas and couldn't find a pump that was still open at 2am. And then after going to maybe 3 or 4 or 5 gas stations, we found one and put in 5 dollars, just ... more

rest of the cluster

go home