blog posts
the knot - may 8, 2024 02:31
I am losing my mind. I think there is merit to it though, in going mad... I am trying to get myself to feel that though, to really believe it. Because I need to let go. I think I am seeing too much. I understand a little bit maybe why people would not want to know what's going on in the world... Would not want to hear about genocide and their complicity in mass disability and death... Would not want to unravel the truth in anything Because then you soon find ...
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spoiled burden - april 12, 2024 18:11
there's a lot rattling around in my head right now. trying to ignore whatever in my mind and/or body is screaming to have kids right now despite no capactiy to (physically, financially, mentally/emotionally), all the art projects i want to do and all the physical and mental disabilities preventing me from doing them right now, how i've never been properly diagnosed with anything since having ptsd because all the healthcare professionals ...
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the light - april 3, 2024 04:22
i'm in distress. no matter how good the day goes, when everyone goes to sleep and it's just me and the pets and the bugs that roam our apartment, - i am a haunted body, a ghost among the living, a haunted house filled with ghosts cosplaying as a person, - i don't know who june is. we've never met her bef- i am the shadows that gather- no, jk. i'm 17 and i've made tentative friends with the dark because she's the only one i can let hold me. it was never really the dark ...
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it's my birthday and i'm thinking about dying - march 1, 2024 20:16
tw severe pain, medical gaslighting, pain minimization, suicidality, thinking about death it's my birthday today. i'm 25 now. i was determined to make it an actual good birthday. i was having trouble planning because i don't really know anyone who masks and takes precautions so i wouldn't be able to have food like i like with people. so i was thinking maybe just my roommates and my partner. but i've been so wiped out just from pain this week. it's been level 8 or 9 pain...
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unknown - february 18, 2024 06:57
I hate everyone. I can't say that I really, really try to get along with everybody, because I don't go out of my way to interact with people... But I certainly am already pushing myself past my limits and it makes it so embarassing that it's not enough. I want to make a better future, I want to see things better for the kids today and the kids of the future, but I can't even try. And that's embarrassing. But I also know it's because of unmet needs. But that's also ...
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